Love in the Extreme

God loves you because you exist.  It's that simple and humbling at the same time. There is no purer form of love. Our current reality, which is a reflection of our fallen state, is that this is very difficult, if not seemingly impossible for us to do. We all find it naturally easier to love and appreciate those people that provide tangible or emotional value to us.

My mom is an LPN and has cared for a girl (actually a woman who is now in her late 20s) who has needed 24/7 care from both people and machines since she was born.  Let's call her Tracy.  Tracy does not have muscle control of anything but her blinks.  Only those extremely familiar with her can decipher her grunts, groans, and blinks and be reasonably certain they know what she wants.  She lies in the same position all day and can only move if someone moves her.  No one really knows her mental capacity.  Tracy has very little, if any, value to give.  I struggle to comprehend this life.   Do her parents love her in the same way that they love their other 3 kids that are healthy and 'normal' and give so much in return for their parent's love?  I can't say for certain, but I can imagine that the parents struggle with this.  

Our kids are literally extensions of ourselves.  Most of us find it is easiest to love ourselves, and by extension, it's not that difficult for people to love their kids (especially younger children).  Among a whole list of things, kids give meaning and valuable purpose to our lives.  We may view them as our proxy, and despite our desire for them to have the best, we tend to fill our own need for self-worth and validation through their successes.  Kids give us something, and although we try not to love them just for that reason, the give and take is so much intertwined with that love, it's hard to tell the difference sometimes.

Our spouses represent another aspect of love.  We choose to give our heart to this person, yet we take the leap of love in the risky hope that our spouse's love will catch us in return.  My choice to marry Gretchen was in part driven by my trust in her that she would indeed always love me in return.  Even in marriage, our love is partly due to the hope that something will be given in return.  In some marriages, like that of a former college professor, one spouse becomes incapacitated physically (and perhaps mentally) and the other spouse spends the rest of his or her days as a physical caretaker in addition to the normal task of being their emotional caretaker.  This is a demonstration of a Godly form of love, one that sacrifices and loves despite receiving much of anything in return, and despite sometimes feeling miserable extending that love. Loving does not always make us happy, and if it does, you’re not really loving.

It's also interesting to note that love for God is often driven by what He does or can do for us.  We love Him because we get something from Him, not because He is simply worthy of love.  If God did not give eternal life, would you still love Him and serve Him? 

If you peel back enough layers of our ‘love”, there is often that selfish motivation, that one thing or things we get in return for giving...and like an addiction, those things control our actions.  You might find tangible rewards like help when you need it, money, things, sex, etc. and intangible rewards like happiness, self-worth, sense of accomplishment, pride, etc.  We often do the right thing, but it is at this deeper level that our human version of love is so completely and utterly distant from the love of God.  

God extends love due to our intrinsic value alone.  His love is not based on what we give or what we do. 

I am inspired by this form of love.  I want to see the intrinsic value in people and love them without the pollution of their practical or emotional value to me or the things that they do.  The belief that God is the immovable mover of love is critical for me.  Because He loves humanity unconditionally, and I am created in His image, I also have been given the capacity to always grow closer to this perfection.  If He does not love us in this way, then there is no hope that we can move beyond the practical, yet ultimately selfish, give and take currency of love that we currently exchange.

I appreciate the love that is given to me, and enjoy the rewards of loving others, and in reality need all these things desperately in order to love.  But I'm proposing that this is not in our original design and shouldn't be the acceptable reality.  My reality is that I often love less when I am given little to nothing in return, including the potential hope for something in return.  We shouldn’t ignore our emotional need of receiving love and rewards for love, but we should constantly strive to depend less and less on this need to effectively love and value people. We should strive to be closer to that place of full redemption where love is purely given with no strings attached, whether consciously or subconsciously.

You will often find me an advocate of balance, but when it comes to love, I believe we should always work towards being extreme, where we give unconditionally and despite what is given in return.

The Genesis of Means of Truth

I received my weekly visit from the neighborhood Jehovah's Witness church recently.  Rather than my usual, polite acceptance of the literature and listening to their thoughts and encouragement to seek the truth, I told my story.  I don't think they'll be back for a while. I told them politely, but emphatically that I would not join their church. Sad. I was kind of growing fond of them.

I realized during this conversation that I admired their discipline and willingness to pound the pavement to make their message known.  I can learn much from these people.  I was saddened by their message of "truth" over love, but I admired them for their passion.  And I also credit them for this inaugural post of this blog.

I started this blog because I believe I have a message that can benefit others, and also because I realized I personally needed an outlet, whether or not my thoughts ended up resonating with others. I hope to communicate that message over time through this blog, but to start...I thought I'd use the conversation to share a few insights.

I was struck by how similar JW's are to the Pharisees of Jesus' time.  They know all the answers.  They believe in truth and that they have found that truth.  They are an exclusive club.  You either assent intellectually to their set of beliefs or you cannot join their church.  The Pharisees knew the Bible better than anyone in their day. They were disciplined, educated, committed, and faithful. They had their list of beliefs perfectly defensible using the Old Testament and their interpretation of it.  Jesus didn't seek out these people to spend his time with, although I imagine He saw value in their noble attributes. He sought out those with the most potential to change the world, those who acknowledged that they did not have all the answers, but had the courage to follow Him wherever the journey of truth took them. God did not reveal himself to the world through Jesus in order to give us answers.  He revealed himself through Jesus to give us life.  It took courage for the disciples to leave a stable life of certainty, and enter the dynamic and often confusing journey of following Jesus. I'd also propose that they never did reach certainty, especially as it related to Jesus' ultimate purpose in His death, resurrection, and anticipated second coming. But their lives were altered in such a profound way that they literally changed the world. 

Jesus' way was defined by social and spiritual transformation.  He preached sacrificial love and unconditional forgiveness.  He often did not give answers to difficult questions, but used the questions themselves to reveal the heart of those asking them.  His harshest words were reserved not for the "sinner", but to those religious leaders who thought the term did not apply to them.  He let the consequences of sin be the judge, and let love lead people to the truth.   He did not give his disciples a list of doctrines to intellectually assent to before they could join Him, He showed them how love is the greatest of all commandments and from which all others flow.

Before you think, "yeah, you tell 'em Daniel"...the JWs only represent one extreme of this "monopoly on truth" and certainty=faith mindset.  It can subtly be found in most major denominations within the communities of those who claim to follow Jesus.  It's not as formally pronounced as JWs, but it reveals itself in the ostracizing of those who are courageous enough to lay aside what they have been told and ask tough questions with an open mind and even hold beliefs that are against the grain.

The intent of writing this blog is not to give my answers to tough questions, although that may happen at times.  There are enough very intelligent, highly-informed people with opinions out on the web or in books for pretty much any topic of interest.  I think what is needed more is a change in tone, and less emphasis on certainty being the hallmark of "Godly" people. If there is a huge ideological divide on a complicated topic, I believe the truth is often found in the mean or average of the broad range of intelligent, well-thought-out belief, or a combination of various concepts throughout the spectrum.  Listening is essential to the journey of truth in these complicated areas. I am an outlier in certain beliefs, but I recognize the improbability of me being right in these areas and only hold an outlier belief if I have spent considerable amount of time studying the range of belief and coming to a well informed decision.

In most cases, there are simply too many topics to perform this level of study to be anything but humbly holding to tentative opinions with an open mind. 

Take this thought and apply it to faith, lifestyle, family, politics, and other areas with hotly debated topics, and you get this blog. My goal is to give myself a forum to process concepts, but hopefully to also encourage and challenge others to change the spirit of the many debates we have in these areas. I have sought and continue to seek to listen more than I speak, but the JWs I visited with stirred something within me. I realized that I had certain ideas that I wanted to communicate in a more public way. I felt I had something to add to the conversation.  And hopefully, through these thoughts, I can further my own transformation to be more like Jesus, as well as encourage others in the same.